Patriots wide receiver Kayshon Boutte detailed his gambling addiction that he said could have cost him his dream of playing in the NFL in a newly released essay in The Players’ Tribune Wednesday.
In the essay titled, “How The Hell Did I Get Here???” Boutte opened up about his struggles, writing, “It’s sad when I think about how, as a kid, my ability to dream was an asset. That’s what got me to LSU, and later, all the way to the NFL. But as a gambling addict, my dreaming was my biggest liability. I’d wake up early in the morning, and the first thing I’d do was bet. I’d stay up late and bet. All day. All night. I had insomnia, so if I woke up in the middle of the night, phone next to the bed, I’d bet.”
With each bet, Boutte acknowledged he was betting against his own future, but said he couldn’t stop.
“What a lot of people fail to realize, addiction is not always drugs and stuff like that,” he said. “It can be gambling and a lot of people don’t realize it until it’s too late.”
Boutte said the road to recovery was not easy, and there was a lot of coming to terms with the fact that he had a real problem. The New England Patriots stood by him anyway, and Boutte said the team turned out to be the final push he needed to come out on the other side.
“How many of those 32 teams would’ve just walked away at that point?” Boutte wrote. “Especially from a sixth-round pick. But the organization knew my heart, and they stuck by me.”
Boutte said he hopes sharing his story can help others who may be struggling with addiction.
“It felt good to talk about it. There’s a lot of stuff in there that no one really knew about me but they know now,” said Boutte. “I’m grateful for sure, you know, at the time you’re running on a high. It’s a lot physically, mentally, emotionally, and I’m better now. Life is good now and I’m ready to play playoff football.”
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